A Journey To Open Adoption
We didn’t meet Jennifer, the birth mother of our sons, Isaiah and Samuel, under the usual circumstances for which New Life had prepared us. We received a call from our caseworker informing us that a mother, who was far along in her pregnancy, had chosen us and wanted to meet. The day of the planned meeting we received another call informing us that at the meeting we would not only meet Jennifer but that we would also be meeting our first son, Isaiah, because he was born that morning. We were shocked and overjoyed. We immediately fell in love with Jennifer and Isaiah, who was placed in our care. A short fifteen months later, his brother Samuel was also placed in our care.
Jennifer has a history of drug abuse that existed before and while she was pregnant with both of our sons. While she was pregnant with Samuel we were in a constant state of prayer for both his and her well-being. This is a hard place to be in. For most people it would’ve been easy to default to anger at the birth mother for such behaviors and I’d be lying to say that we weren’t angry, but mostly we were worried for her. Once you enter into an open adoption relationship, you are not only adopting the child, but the mother as well. Jennifer is our family and we want her to be whole.
Over the past six years we have experienced immense heartache and overwhelming joy in our relationship with Jennifer. There have been numerous planned meetings that she missed and periods (years), of not seeing or hearing from her. Now, however, she is in a good place. We invited her to our home on Easter (she came!) and we went and saw her on Christmas. These good times greatly overshadow the bad times, not only in our eyes, but in the eyes of Isaiah and Samuel. Would I want anything to change with the relationship we share with Jennifer? No, I don’t think so. The trials that we have gone through to have a relationship with her has made us better, more patient, parents in the long run. We love her in her high points as well as her low points, much how Jesus loves us.
Michael and Tammi, Adoptive Parents